Don’t Let Romance Ruin Your Retirement
/By Kelly Doyle, Sr. Financial Planner, Wealthrise Financial Planning
Venturing into the online dating pool can be an incredibly vulnerable experience. Ten years ago, I gave it a try and was fortunate enough to meet my husband who I’ve been happily married to for the past eight years.
Whether you’re dealing with a recent loss, recovering from a painful breakup, or suffering from loneliness, it takes a lot of courage to make that step to open your heart in the hopes of making a connection with someone else. Unfortunately, putting yourself in an exposed position may affect your judgment. Reality may become blurred, and you might even shrug off some red flags, no matter how obvious they may seem in hindsight.
As a financial planner, I’ve often heard about people falling victim to financial schemes on online dating websites. Because of my experience in the online dating realm, I felt compelled to bring light to these widespread cons. Don’t let the thought of romance ruin your retirement!
For Love or Money
Take, for example, a story I heard recently from a friend of a friend. After a recent divorce, this person got onto a dating website. She connected with someone and started exchanging messages. After getting to know each other over a period of time, he told her about an opportunity he’d heard about through his work in the financial industry. If she invested her money, he said, she could receive an incredibly high payout. After making a small investment, she indeed made a large profit. This led her to invest again with a larger amount, which ultimately led to tens of thousands of dollars. Once that larger sum of money was transferred to this individual, he, along with her money, disappeared.
When it comes to online dating, look out for yourself and others who may be vulnerable. This can include friends or family members who have recently been through a loss or trauma. Or perhaps it’s someone who’s just feeling lonely. People who fall into one of these categories commonly fall victim to money schemes.
Ways to Avoid Scams
To keep from falling prey to a financial ruse, here are a few tips that may help.
· If presented with an investment opportunity, search online for the contact information (name, email, phone number, and address) of the person or organization offering it. Other people may have posted information online about this individual or the business trying to run a scam.
· Check your financial statements regularly to search for any suspicious activity. Consider lowering your credit limit in the event your account is breached.
· Never give out your credit card, banking, Social Security, or Medicare information.
· Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone. Cut off contact if someone starts asking you for financial information like your credit card or government ID number.
· Be careful what you post online. Scammers can use details shared on social media and dating websites to better understand and target you.
· When dating, go slowly and ask lots of questions. The more specific, the better. A scammer may stumble over remembering details or making a story fit.
· Check in on your friend or loved one and ask them about what’s going on in their life. Their judgment may be blurred, and they could be ignoring the red flags. Hearing from a friend or family member might help them see things from an objective point of view. As a financial planner, I meet with clients quarterly to provide financial updates but also to hear about any changes in their lives. In this way, I can help identify issues that may affect their financial well-being.
· Discuss an article about a romance scam with your friend or loved one to bring awareness to them.
· Cut off contact immediately if you begin to suspect that your love interest may be a scammer.
Red Flags to Look For
If you or someone you know is in a relationship with a person who exhibits suspicious behavior, proceed with caution and look for these red flags.
· They ask for money in a specific way. It may be in the form of gift cards, prepaid debit cards, cryptocurrency, or a bank or wire transfer. They make a sudden request for money to deal with an emergency or make a sure-fire investment. No financial adviser with a fiduciary responsibility should be guaranteeing any returns on investments, especially ones that are too good to be true.
· They ask for money with a sense of urgency. Resist the pressure to act quickly. Scammers create a sense of urgency to produce fear and lure victims into immediate action. They don't want you to have time to check out what they're saying.
· They are overly flirtatious and complimentary. Your new romantic interest sends you a picture that looks more like a model than an ordinary snapshot. Many scammers steal photos from the internet to use in their dating profiles. You can do a reverse image lookup using a website like Google Images.
· They know just what to say. They lavish you with attention. Scammers will often inundate you with texts, emails, and phone calls to draw you in.
· They won’t meet you in person. They repeatedly promise to meet in person but always come up with an excuse to cancel.
What to Do If You’ve Been Scammed
If you discover that you’ve fallen victim to a romance scam, there are steps you can take. First, don’t be too hard on yourself. Many scammers are experts at fooling their targets, and you’re likely not the first person they’ve tricked. Second, follow the steps below as soon as you realize you’ve been scammed:
· Protect your accounts. Immediately contact your financial institutions to place protections on your accounts. Be sure to monitor your accounts and personal information for suspicious activity.
· Report the fraud. It’s common to feel a sense of shame in admitting to being scammed, even more so if it occurred while using an internet dating site. Some victims may feel that family and friends will lose confidence in their ability to manage their money.
· Report the scammer. Notify the dating site or the maker of the dating app on which you met the scammer to prevent further damage and keep others from falling prey.
In the month of February, love is in the air. Don’t turn on the blinders and ignore red flags. Keep your heart, and your head, open to romance while protecting your wealth. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Helpful resources
AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline
